Possibilities.

Just Mug and mug and mug for the exams next week.

Obstacles.

Obstacles never fail to appear throughout our life.
Despite how you yearned to get rid of these jinxes, you couldn't.
Because even if it bids goodbye now, it will come back saying a humongous hello eventually.
Therefore, obstacles are inevitable and you gonna find a might, a will and the strength to tackle them. 

I never thought the second day of work since CNY break will be that hectic.
Battled with the numerous email today and didn't really have the extra time to check through the mail for my mentor who was on medical leave. Having listed down the pending issues in my diary made me breathless sometimes. There's just so much to do, so much to struggle between work and school.

Sometimes, I wonder where did I find those courage to be able to multi-task my path in life.
Since younger days, I never stopped wearing the burden of at least two roles: a student and an employee.
Many a times, I asked myself, where did those courage and strength come from? How did I survive through all these years? Why can't I be less hard on myself, like others who are doing so?

People used to ask me how I handle the stress and the heavy burden. They also asked me why I don't feel tired. I guess perhaps life is just never fair. There can be people out there who are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, needless to work for their entire life and still can be cashing in big bucks everyday. Whereas there may be those sorrowful poor people who need to work many different jobs just to sustain their life with the relevant income. For me, I don't consider my family rich nor are we poor. I guess our life is very much well-sustained. So if you ask me, why should I torture myself to play so many roles then?

Not complaining doesn't mean it doesn't matter to me.
Not revealing my feelings doesn't mean I'm not tired.
Not talking about it doesn't mean that I deserved to be working so damn hard in my entire life.
At times when it gets too tiring, I will rant, vent, or simply wail at night before sleep.
But can i quit my roles? No!

Many a times, I wished someone knows how tiring it is for me to juggle the so many roles.
Thus, I really value those days when I have no roles to play, and I really hope to just sit at home whole day having my leisure time or sleep my entire day off because I never get to do all these for more than half of my life.

Looking back for my 21 years plus of life, almost half of these years, I have been a freak working so frigging hard. If I have a choice again, I would love to be like the other kids, watching cartoons and playing with their toys everyday, cry, eat, sleep and play again. I would love to be like other youngsters, sit home and play computer games 24/7, go shopping with classmates etc etc. There are so many things I regretted I didnt do.

I guess I'm having mixed feelings at this juncture because I feel like I may play other roles well but not a role of a kid well.

Daddy resigned and it was his last day today.
Coming back home very early today with a smile and a bag full of presents from the staffs, he happily said: "It's my last day of work today."
I know he is having mixed feelings as well.
I very much have Daddy's genes because we both love to hide feelings.
The happier he seemed, the more upset he is inside.
And I know it all.
Anyway, he's going over to friend's place for a new start at work tomorrow.
So long he's happier there, I told mummy, we should support him.

When was the last time I really have a heart-to-heart talk with my best friend daddy?
How could I have not realised his sorrow and insomnia for the past few nights?
Whatever it is, I love them both, Daddy & Mummy.

学不会

总   是  学  不 会   再  聪  明  一 点
记 得 自 我 保  护   必 需 时 候 讲些
 总   是  学  不 会    真   爱 也 有  现   实  面
不 是  谁   情   愿 就  能   够  解  决
 还  是  学  不 会    少   浪   漫  一 点
 拚  命   着   想    的 事    未  必 带  来  感  动
 或  被  感  谢  还  是  学  不 会    解  释  我 最  伤    最  累
痛   死 都  不 愿     怪   谁
 不 是  学  不 会  只  是  觉  得   爱 太  美
值  得 去 沉   醉
流  泪


或许我总是学不会一些事，学不会怎么面对，学不会怎么做一个真真的自己...

Pu Tien Restaurant 莆田菜馆

Broke my record and woke up at 8.30am this morning as deardear booked out and was all excited to fetch me from my house. Hehe.

He had breakfast at Lorong Ah Soo marketplace and cut his hair shorter after a satisfied duck congee breakfast. After which, headed over to his place and slacked about. There is something alluring about his room. I always told him I cannot do my mugging at his house because I will always end up slacking. It's as if his room has some "sleepy-pesticide" and makes me feel lethargic and we call it "nua". 

His sis and bro-in-law came home with baby Dylan and we had our lunch feast as usual.
After lunch was the normal routine that binds me, deardear and bro-in-law.
That normal routine is MONOPOLY DEAL!

We always have this addiction to Monopoly Deal and we play it at least once a week to keep the brain tickling. After Monopoly Deal, we played a three-person blackjack and HOOHOO, I won $18.50 from the two of them as the banker, me, got a blackjack for the last game! =D

Oh yes, before I forgot. Happy Birthday to Everyone! 
It's what we chinese call, 人日today. (CNY Day 7 - 初七)

Renri (Chinese:人日, literally Human Day) refers specially to the 7th day of zhengyue (正月, the first month in the Chinese calendar). According to Chinese customs, renri was the day human beings were created. It is celebrated not only in China, but also other regions influenced by Chinese culture. - From Wikipedia. 

For the occasion, I booked for the family a Lou-Hei dinner at Pu Tien Restaurant 莆田菜馆 for Daddy, Mummy and Deardear: 

Tampines Mall 
4 Tampines Central 5, #B1-27
Singapore 529510
Tel: (65) 6781 2162
Lunch: 11.30am-3pm    Last order: 2.30pm
High-Tea: 2.30pm-5pm  Last order: 4.30pm (Fri-Sun & PH)
Dinner: 5.30pm-10pm    Last order: 9.30pm

The super yummy chilli that all of us love! 

The seafood fried rice (:

A must to order! -  Deep Fried Duck with Yam

Kailan with beancurd skin

Seafood Lor Mee

Beancurd 

The total bill amounted to about SGD102 thereabout for 4 pax, which was quite worth-it given the food was  yummylicious and we really did had our fill. 

BOOHOOS to Monday tomorrow cus work has started after the 4 days of CNY holiday. The mood definitely needs to be tuned back after the holiday and I need to get more indulged in mugging real soon.

Till then, hope everyone has got an enjoyable Birthday today! =))

Minutes to Midnight.

It's minutes to midnight and I've just gotten home from second aunt's place.

Had make-up lesson for Industrial Relations today from 2pm-5pm. Came to conclude that it's a waste of time because afterall the Revision lecture still derived at the fact that we got to study all the chapters for the upcoming exams in less than 2 weeks time.

Gotta buck up for my revision for exams cus till now, I have only studied two chapters. Very much still in the holiday-mood so I ought to tuned myself back to the normal daily routines that comprised of work and school!

So after class, I made my way to Bishan for a walk, a breather.
After which, headed over to aunt's place at Pasir Ris and stayed till almost 12 midnight cus we were all busy meddling with the "BlackJack".

I guess many things are meant to be. Initially, I do not know if I wish to disclose that incident. But afterall, things walked its own path and the truth revealed. Maybe it hurts her, but I just wished someone will know that it hurts me even more to be sandwiched when all parties involved are my loved ones.

I do not deny the fact that I have my perspectives of who was right and who was wrong but being a third party, I do not have the rights to judge. Even if I have the authority to judge, I will choose not to judge because whoever was wrong should be given another chance and whoever was right should learn how to forgive and forget.

It ain't only the parties involved who will be affected by the whole scenario. People like me got very hurt deeply because I don't know how to remedy the situation. At times like this, I felt real useless and helpless. Despite the fact that perhaps others may pinpoint, I still chose to be brave and face up with the parties involved.

Maybe nasty remarks will be thrown infront or behind the back, or perhaps you yourself will feel heavy at heart and get clueless of what will be the best alternatives. It doesn't matter. Because I ought to be strong.

The key to be strong is :
When others are condemning on you, just treat all the condemns as encouragement for you to grow to be a better person. 

Someday, I want all of you to know,
I'm not as simple as you all think. 

"And What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stronger..."

Myths Behind The Names

DollierDianne.

Must be wondering where and how did this nick came about.

Well, pretty straightforward. Dianne is a short-form name that some friends call me as.
While Dollier is actually a name my colleague, Shannen and I came up with one fine day during our conversation. At work, sometimes, we tend to show a side that others may not have seen before. You can call it the "Devil-side" or you can call it the "Undiscovered-self". Whatever it is, Dollier only comes out when I'm not over-defensive of the environment I am in.

Dollier is a side of me when I am over-stressed with work or study. She is a side that just wish to vent every single feelings, yet she chose to hide everything to herself. Being strong is not a must, but she has been so used to letting others see the stronger side of her. It's never wrong to be vulnerable but she knows her limits have yet to be up to the maximum. 

Over the decades, many incidents have happened. These happenings are a mixture of happy moments as well as unhappy moments. I smiled, laughed, teared and wailed over them. Some incidents are well-forgotten of after a few hours, a few days, a few weeks. While some incidents remain rooted to your heart, not so easily forgotten and hurts a little every now and then. 

Afterall, I must say, I am all grown-up. In fact, I ought to thank all the parties involved in all these happenings. Because of you guys, it made me grew much stronger. Since young, I have been real independent and till now, I just love doing things all by myself, using my own mights.

I guess everyone just gotta fall to learn how to stand up tall and walk again.

Whatever it is, move on because no one else is gonna sympathize you being still stuck in the past. 
Move on because there are better moments out there to be created. 
And Move on because those who left you behind are not worth it. 

TGIF!

Come to think of it, it's been real long since I had a proper 'Thank God It's Friday'. 

Reason being, on occasions when it's a Friday, I'm either working or to make it worse, I have night classes after work. While others are all hanging out with their peers or loved ones, i'm always stuck somewhere all by myself.

SO YES, THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY TODAY! 

I slept to my fullest and woke up naturally because I wanted a refreshed mind to start my mugging session.
Yes, I'm not hanging anywhere out today cus I'm gonna be a good girl and study the full whole day.

I had an enjoyable time at boss's house yesterday where he had an open house for the CNY. Met up with my colleague, Wendy and subsequently, other colleagues came along. Deardear had nights out so he made his way to find me too. We had a blast playing blackjack as usual.

On a more serious note, I hoped 2012 will be a smooth-sailing one for everyone. 2011 has not been a good year for me and I have thrown away all the unhappiness that lingered around for perhaps more than a year. I am ready to start a brand new year with a stronger appeal.

Ending the post with Little Mushroom's cutie pie picture :D

"We do not have to account to anyone because strangers are always the one trying to condemn everything you say but always remember that people who know you understood every messages that you are trying to convey. ((:"

Here I am, blogging again.

God knows how damn long I have haltered blogging.

I guess it was back to those days in secondary school when I used to have a public blog and because I loathed the idea that many people, including those who are distant from me, had access to my daily life and intrude the kind of privacy. That was the reason as to why I stopped blogging and later on owned a private blog myself where I needed to rant on the nitty gritty that upsets me.

But well, many things have happened, I have moved on and here I am, all grown up.

Decided that blogging might be a good idea now to store all my fond memories, despite knowing the fact that there might be nasty memories as well. But well, ain't that part and parcel of life?