Despite how you yearned to get rid of these jinxes, you couldn't.
Because even if it bids goodbye now, it will come back saying a humongous hello eventually.
Therefore, obstacles are inevitable and you gonna find a might, a will and the strength to tackle them.
I never thought the second day of work since CNY break will be that hectic.
Battled with the numerous email today and didn't really have the extra time to check through the mail for my mentor who was on medical leave. Having listed down the pending issues in my diary made me breathless sometimes. There's just so much to do, so much to struggle between work and school.
Sometimes, I wonder where did I find those courage to be able to multi-task my path in life.
Since younger days, I never stopped wearing the burden of at least two roles: a student and an employee.
Many a times, I asked myself, where did those courage and strength come from? How did I survive through all these years? Why can't I be less hard on myself, like others who are doing so?
People used to ask me how I handle the stress and the heavy burden. They also asked me why I don't feel tired. I guess perhaps life is just never fair. There can be people out there who are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, needless to work for their entire life and still can be cashing in big bucks everyday. Whereas there may be those sorrowful poor people who need to work many different jobs just to sustain their life with the relevant income. For me, I don't consider my family rich nor are we poor. I guess our life is very much well-sustained. So if you ask me, why should I torture myself to play so many roles then?
Not complaining doesn't mean it doesn't matter to me.
Not revealing my feelings doesn't mean I'm not tired.
Not talking about it doesn't mean that I deserved to be working so damn hard in my entire life.
At times when it gets too tiring, I will rant, vent, or simply wail at night before sleep.
But can i quit my roles? No!
Many a times, I wished someone knows how tiring it is for me to juggle the so many roles.
Thus, I really value those days when I have no roles to play, and I really hope to just sit at home whole day having my leisure time or sleep my entire day off because I never get to do all these for more than half of my life.
Looking back for my 21 years plus of life, almost half of these years, I have been a freak working so frigging hard. If I have a choice again, I would love to be like the other kids, watching cartoons and playing with their toys everyday, cry, eat, sleep and play again. I would love to be like other youngsters, sit home and play computer games 24/7, go shopping with classmates etc etc. There are so many things I regretted I didnt do.
I guess I'm having mixed feelings at this juncture because I feel like I may play other roles well but not a role of a kid well.
Daddy resigned and it was his last day today.
Coming back home very early today with a smile and a bag full of presents from the staffs, he happily said: "It's my last day of work today."
I know he is having mixed feelings as well.
I very much have Daddy's genes because we both love to hide feelings.
The happier he seemed, the more upset he is inside.
And I know it all.
Anyway, he's going over to friend's place for a new start at work tomorrow.
So long he's happier there, I told mummy, we should support him.
When was the last time I really have a heart-to-heart talk with my best friend daddy?
How could I have not realised his sorrow and insomnia for the past few nights?
Whatever it is, I love them both, Daddy & Mummy.
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