Respect.

What is Respect deemed as to you? 

To me, it should be mutual and regarded as neutral and natural, not something that is induced by someone else upon you or forced at the veins of your throat.

Respect is built up from the countless experiences gained to realize that trust is present and you can count on that somebody.
Respect is not about you performing acts which is only visible to your counterpart at a later time after you have made the final call.
And Respect is earned because you believe.

Apparently, I am just so difficult to please, so difficult to be understood.

It was something so simple, yet so unattainable.

Perhaps I have grown far too much, perhaps I have walked a lot more further.
Perhaps I should reckon the difference of heights and place myself in yours-to-be current location.
Perhaps I should just comment less, be less direct, hide emotions and things might just get better than that.

So what if it hurts?
Who bothers or cares? Who would sympathize your silly emotions?
They just do away with it by classifying all your damn emotions as mood swings.
Brushed your circumstances aside and sweep everything under the carpet till a day it explodes off that shelf and burnt all the books of the same level.

It's okay if no one were to comprehend.
It's alright if whatever I say appeals no sense to anyone
Treat it as I am just ranting rubbish.
Is feeling atrocious right now and ain't in need of queries.

Anger of Tears.

What Happens When I'm Angry? 

1. Facial expression changes to a state where people wouldn't dare to come close to me. 
2. I Slam books, staplers, files and whatever I can find on my desk to let out those anger fumes. 
3. I become very unreasonable, so don't ever talk sense into me when i'm super mad. 
4. I tend to isolate myself after awhile, not communicating to anyone. 
5. My eyes and neck become bloody red because I'm enduring those anger inside me. 
6. The side effects become such that I will tremble and shiver not because I'm cold but because the blood is boiling at 1000000000000 Degree Celsius.
7. Worst case scenario, which happened today, I cried. 

No, they were not tears of sadness but anger of tears.

Tell me how not to be SUPER MAD when all you are trying to do is to remedy the situation as much as you can and came along some idiot who just feel like stepping on your tail and make it sound like you are darn brainless, like everything becomes your mistakes when you weren't even the one who make the initiation. 

As much as I wanted to turn the table on the particular person, I endured.
It was just mere pissed off initially, then as I proclaimed my defense along with the theory and logic that comes attached with it, I could no longer keep my cool. 

I exclaimed all I could. Seriously, don't have to push the blame to every single one.
Get things right, I am NOT your slave of actions. 

And you can jolly well just say it simply that you are purely lazy and don't wish to account to anything.
So just freaking give me the outcomes I want and I can do it all by myself manually even if it takes forever.

Because I didn't want the whole world to know, I chose to isolate myself.

I hate those words, I hate those tears of anger.
And I Hate It more when others see me cry. 

I am no longer as strong because it's getting far too tiring.
I have no more patience, my tolerance level gets real low and I am in need of the strength I used to possess. 

Things Pending to Do: 

1. Work Stuffs (Plenty)
2. Assignments (Due every two weeks) 
3. Group Projects Researches 
4. Luggage to Shanghai Unpacked

Everyone has their limits and mine's currently up. 

BLOODYＨＥＬＬ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!