I Am Who I Am.

I am who I am, not who you asked me to be, not who one may be able to control and not who may have split personalities that are hidden.

I say what I think it is, I feel how I think.

I can never be like some others who can just fake their way through with people they don't fancy.
I understand that in the corporate world, everyone just need to pretend to be nice sometimes. But that is something I just fail to force myself to do.
People who know me know that if I like you, I talk big time with you and hang out with you sincerely.
If I don't like you, you can never make me talk to you or pretend like we are best friends.
And when I don't fancy someone, it's pretty difficult for me to change my opinion of that someone and I can never make myself like that someone in my entire life.

Yes, I am super stubborn.
Be it due to family genes or just personality, I know I can be super stubborn at times.
As much as that hinders, I call it my own principles.
There are some things that just cannot be accepted because it has already violated my beliefs, rights and principles.

When I'm nice, I am indeed very nice.
When I'm nasty, I'm super incorrigible, unapproachable and no one will dare to pluck that courage to come near me.
Yes, I have a fiery temper and I know it's hard to change especially when it's something inborn or jeopardized by the stresses caused with the many commitments.

My real self is someone who doesn't very much like to speak, rattle or blabber.
I am extremely quiet when I am being my real self.
I don't like to mingle around like those outgoing people who can just talk to anyone even if the other party is someone they don't really know.
That is why the first impression of people on me is always: "This girl very dao leh, very unapproachable."
But being alone in my uni without familiar faces forced me to mingle.
Getting on into adult life and working life forced me to have an outspoken side of me.

I don't have a sweet tooth, so I dislike sweet desserts and instead of normal milk chocolate, I prefer the not-your-buddy dark chocolate.

I am not difficult to get along with.
If you don't make things difficult for me, I will definitely treat you as kind.
I am not unreasonable, but if you so happened to step on my toes, I will definitely not be nice because of my foul temper and the very fact that I have a strong defense over myself due to some past experiences.

I dislike people to talk behind my back, if you must, confront me.

Like a girl, I adore all the pretty, flowerly, girly stuffs and I can never resist shopping.

I have several nicknames that loved ones call me by:

Close friends call me Nana, Dee, Dianne, Barbie Doll, Sweetie, Ah Shi and Dia.
Family members call me ah girl, girl, young girl, mei and Shi Li.

Friends and family members are always my top priority.
Some close friends know that when things happen, I am just a call or sms away.
There are many circumstances whereby I even pop by at their place within an hour after they called me.
I hate it when people bully my friends and family and I will always stand up for them because they meant tons load to me.

People may change as the years go by.
Throughout my entire 22years on earth, I too have changed quite a fair bit.

But something that hasn't changed is the ability I have to observe people and see through their characters (that's why you realised, I can never be friends with some people because their characters clashed with mine), I am still as independent (you can put me alone to die, and I will somehow still survive) and I still live by my strong principles.

So I am who I am, someone whom you cannot changed without me realizing the moral out of it.
I am who I am, the limited edition on earth.
I am who I am, and there are no one else identical to me.

If you remember, my Lao Ma / Ah Chor / Great-grandmother passed away. 

Have been busy attending the wake for the past few nights till late night and simply have no time to commit to my projects and outstanding work.
Today was the last day of her funeral.
Woke up at 7am and reached the funeral before 9am.
The band came and they played really well and it's always the songs that play feelings out.

Great-Grandma had a super supra grand funeral.
She had a combination of activities from different religion everyday.
The first day was a christian form of funeral plan. (Because the family members who lived with her were christians to begin with)
The second day was a Teochew form of funeral plan. (Which was what Lao Ma had requested before her death)
The third day was a Hokkien form of funeral plan. (As Lao Ma is Hokkien).
Today, on her last day, came the western kinda band and the chinese teochew style with the two big dolls. 

Went to Mandai Crematorium at around 12plus noon for her cremation at 1pm.
May she rest in peace and live with grandma in her big big house happily ever after.

Farewell Lao Ma.... 

原来就算不亲，也还是会难过。
原来人其实很脆弱。
一旦心和脉搏停止跳动， 人就这样一了百了， 一走了之。
从此不再属于人该生活的世界。 

从此让留下的人永远挂念。

再怎么坚强，有一天还是会倒下。

原来就算不怎么相逢，也还是会好难过，好难过。。。