七情六欲

Whatever I do, it's always wrong.
It's always never trying, never once appreciated.
What is romance about?
And what is love about?

I can no longer differentiate how it is like to love.
You never fail to say we've been together for very very long, so things like these and that doesn't matter anymore.

Don't you know, those little things that don't matter to you mattered a fair bit to me?
And dont't you know its all these bits and pieces that are tearing everything slowly apart?

On Xmas eve, I feel.. so unappreciated, so despaired.
Or rather, not only today , but i always feel so unappreciated.

You'll never know, you'l never understand.
So nevermind.
Whatever it is, I guess, I need to know, I'm always better off.. alone.

#Emotionless

And sometimes I wish, I didn't have to go through all these... alone. 

Xmas Decor!

This week was a super hectic week as it is the last week I am able to clear my office bound jobs before heading for my overseas business trip this coming Monday, 11 Nov 2013.

Then again, I was in-charge of putting up the xmas decor along with one my colleague.
It was an impromptu decision on Thursday to head out after lunch to Metro to purchase the new xmas tree and decorations. We were tired beat because Sengkang side ran out of the black tree we wanted and so we went over to Farrer park instead to collect the tree.

And yes, we bought a BLACK XMAS TREE! Unique max.



Rushed back to office to place the stuffs and I actually had Basic Theory Test that night and by the time I reached the office, it was already 6.30pm and I was hesitating whether I should be going back home for a bath before heading for the test.
Eventually, colleague and I decided to stay on in office to put up the decor!

We were super Pleased with the tree.

You see why later...


Little Xmas Tree at Conference Room 


Bling Bling Star to hang at the doors


Top of the Xmas tree need not always be a Star isnt it? =D


My FAVOURITE DECOR on the tree has got to be this! Dreamy House. 


Glittered Flowery Ball. 


Golden Birdie with Eggs


Silver Glittered Birdie


Bird Cage


Blissful Xmas Tree that makes us feel happy and blessed!



And the series of dolls that we chose according to the hair length to represent each of us and they are now seated on the top of our table ledge. So cute right?!

Now that the decoration is up, I'm so looking forward to Xmas season again!
HOHOHO~
Whats more, I PASSED my BTT on first attempt that day!!! *throws confetti*

Gulps, before that, I gotta go on the overseas business trip to Guangzhou and then to Dongguan.
See ya folks till when I'm back... :)

Best Friends For A Reason.

Awhile back, my primary school batch decided to create a forum on facebook and eventually I was being added in.

There we were chatting about the days in primary school, reminiscing the many things that we have done together, having so many playback scenes that sparked off after the conversations.

Those were the days when everything was so naive,
Those were my favorite days being a gal of my own,
Those were the days where I found the friends who will stay for the rest of my life.

So here we were chatting, and I happen to find my pri sch bestie, Sharon!

Years passed and all of us went different ways.
Alas, everyone lost contacts and interests of how others are doing.
I mean, its always the efforts of wanting to grow up together isn't it ?

While chatting with Sharon on fb, we eventually decided to meet up and Cindy being my best friend, wanted to meet her too!

Dined at Soup Spoon and continued the unfinished conversations at Working Title Cafe over a cup of Latte.





I must say it feels great to have her back into my life again.

Even though it was after years, we still have so much to talk about, and the frequency still remains intact as it was in the old good days.
I guess, there is always a reason as to why you were best friends to begin with.
There is always a saying that "As you grow older, you will have lesser friends and those who really stay on, are the ones we call true friends."

And I do, am glad that I have a couple of true friends who have been through years, thick and thins with me and I hope for the rest of my life, I will always have them like how I have them now.

Also made a pact with Cin to sweep away our Monday Blues by having a gym date on every Monday!
Love hitting the gym with her because she is always a motivator and I am always so comfortable with her around.






Somtimes, we just need, to go at our own pace, even if it is deemed slower than usual because moving too fast a time, makes you miss out something important in life. 

Frigging Ugly Humans.

Sometimes, the best explanation is not to explain.
The best innocence is to feign ignorance.

The truth is, in order to survive, everyone needs to prepare a loadful of hats and paints a different masquerade.
It all depends on the circumstances you are in, to determine what type of hat to doll yourself up or what type of painting to make yourself reveal as how they wanted you to be.






Truth is, there is no authenticity in the outside world apart from people who truly love you and accept both the beautiful and grisly side of you.

Those whom you think meant well and spoke tip-top remarks, were just who they were, infront of you.
Behind your gracious back, there they were, singing the same tune with others who don't at all understand you.

Humans, were born to be imperfect.
And part of the imperfection was that Humans are Very Ugly.

Because I said, you cannot control what others have to say of you,
Because I said, you cannot expect everyone to ally you.
Because I said, those who know you, understand.

So, never will I be affected on impulse as to what they have got to say or do.
By hearing so from others, it only gives me the courage to move on further, towards a better me.

You need not forgive what I have done,
You need not forget what has happened,
But by maligning people for what they have never once did,
Meant that you are nothing but an ugly piece of shit because in you, there is nothing called a kind heart. 

People will reveal some things on purpose.
We can't blame them.
Because they are far from being matured.
And we can't blame those childishness,
Because they feel totally insecure.

Let them be, just let them be.

Pre-Graduation Shoots + Convocation!

It comes a long way for me to really rejoice over the fact that I have officially graduate from Curtin Singapore as a Bachelor of Commerce Degree holder.

Went to collect the regalia on a Saturday which was the weekend before the convocation itself.
On the very day of collection, I went straight to Serangoon Broadway for my individual photoshoot and towards the afternoon, together with le parents and bf, we headed over to Gardens By The Bay for my pre-graduation outdoor shoots.

Presenting some of my favourites:























Le Bf bought the Curtin graduation bear for me which marks a meaningful symbol as the bear wore the same regalia as me =D It costs SGD50.00 for such a small bear but I guess, some things are more than just monetary terms right?

Was way too overjoyed so deardear took this photo for me which i posted onto instagram :)

"Guys usually go ORD LO, but for me it's gonna be GRADUATE LO! " 



The outdoor shoot ended after taking about 100 photos.
Weather was way too scorching hot for me to withstand it cus I was in crazy attire that is thick and warm.
Thanks to daddy, mummy for being part of the shoot and deardear for being the photographer of the day <3

The Dark Calling Out to You.

Years have passed, time have moved on further than you realised. 

People have changed, things are no longer the same. 

The ones whom you are missing, may never have once thought about you. 

The ones who have left you behind, are now happier than who they once were, as if rejoicing the fact that you were once such a heavy burden. 

They lied. Because time don't heal. Time only lessen those pains and make one forget. 

But when the night falls and you're all alone again, those flashes of past come back like nightmares that leave you in cold sweat, in fear, in pain. 

The fact is you know what has passed should not be held on to.
You know that no matter how much you are reminiscing over certain moments, you know they will never be the same and no one involved will ever come back.

What's broken can never be mend.
Why do people of the past have to make a footprint ?
If you have left long ago, why did you not bring ur presence together with you?
Even though it was years thereafter, the sudden footprints passed by with the collection of the hurts from the same old wounds.
Why do they not heal?
Why do they still hurt as much as how it was right from the start?
What must be done to make you all go away?

"It's okay to look back, but never hold back" 

人生之旅。

什么幸福之旅我不懂。　
提到人生之旅却让我感触良多。　

所谓快乐是什么？　
其实，人要快乐很简单。　
他们说只要你找到你喜欢的人，做你喜欢做的事，自然而然的，　你就会很快乐。
可是，有多少人能够真正的和心爱的人在一起？　
多少人能够真的做自己想要做的事？

人来人往，　多少你以为会一辈子呆在你身边的人，却半途中走了。　
连解释也没有，就这样一了百了，好聚好散。　
多少你以为是你想要做的，　却无意中发现你无能为力，　又或者根本不适合你。　

没错，　人生短暂。　
所以我们不该去在意别人一时无理的举动，　或去理会周围人的批评。　
可是有时你也无法不去在意一些事，　一些人。　
因为他们曾经是你生活中的一部分。　

有的时候，　你认为你做对了一些事，　但在别人的眼里却是错的。　
有的时候，　你以为你应该为你的一举一动，　所作所为而感到骄傲，　但总会有那么一些复杂的感触。　

如果当初你不确定， 就不要随意说可以。
如果不是真实的想法， 就不要直接答应， 让对方抱着希望。
因为一旦这样， 希望会从一人传到另一人， 到了最后， 做不到的时候，　要如何解释？　

有时想着想着，　觉得，　算了。　
反正我的心情永远不被在乎，　我的感受也只不过是多余的。　
只好这样，　把多余的感触收好，　埋伏在触碰不到的心底。　

这样好吗？这样对吗？
每天不断的寻找想要的答案， 却感觉永远也不会找到答案。
可能有些问号是注定要成为一辈子的谜题吧。

Judgmental.

Credits: Tumblr 

I wonder when has everyone start to become so judgmental.
I can never understand why people must be so judgmental.
When you do something wrong, you become a named criminal all your entire life, till the extent that even if you someday try to change and become a better person, people will just continue to blabber nasty things about you and insist that you have other intentions for the change.

When you do something right, but if someone else doesn't fancy you, or is simply jealous of you or your right doings, he or she will defame you behind your back until the extent that you feel it's wrong to even do something right. 

When did everyone become so judgmental? 

Don't certain people know that everyone has a story behind them and that no one will really comprehend what someone has gone through?
Hadn't they heard about "Don't judge a book by its cover?"
Do they even know the person well enough to make any further nasty comments? 

Do they even have the right to judge? 

Humans, are far too complicated to comprehend.
Sometimes, I cannot really understand why people around me must jump to conclusion about someone before he or she even tries to explain the situation to everyone.
Perhaps, somehow or rather, changed attitudes / thinking from victims have thus, been shaped by these judgmental culprits because it's seriously useless and pointless to explain to such people because all they do is pretend to know , pretend to understand and badmouthed behind their back. 

Superficial. Judgmental. 

A Note to Self.

Dear Self,

You're almost 23 and you know you have a mind of your own, a set of principles that you adhere to and a form of respect you cling on because you know you're somewhat abit, indifferent.

Sometimes, your inner self fights with your outlook and you began to either hide away those sorrows to only bury it deep inside the overweight heart or you choose to show the most unapproachable side of you.
You Love the people around you far too much that you never stopped thinking for others more than you spare a thought for yourself. You are unsure of what you desire and what you really want in life because you have experienced far too much disappointments.

You never fail to question yourself all night and needed more self-alone time than anyone else because you feel better when you are walking the streets by yourself, with your own pace.

You're too matured for your own good and this results in you fretting too much.

Experiences, good or bad, have made you better in a way. Most of the time, you learnt through the hard way. People whom you thought you could have trusted, betrayed your trust. Things which you thought could have been simpler, turned devil. You used to not understand life and wondered your purpose and what life could really bring you.

Today, you stand tall fighting, fighting a world of your own.
No matter how destructive or nasty some things may have turned out, no matter who has walked in and out of your life, you still, stand firm and strong and stable.

You understood that people who mattered will know you inside out while people who don't may judge and make things too complicated for everyone.
But you have also reckoned that people who don't matter can continue to judge and you will continue to smile and acknowledge their presence.

You surprised yourself today by taking that first step out to acknowledge a soul. You were great because the soul was taken aback by your smile and acknowledgment. You were great because by doing so, you're trying to show that you have long moved on, and that you have a big heart, unlike the soul.

So keep fighting on and whenever you feel tired and lethargic, thinking that the battle is far too disheartening and unbearable, come back here, to feel affirmed that you're stronger than what you think you are.

Time will heal. The proof of the scar has always remind you of the pain, but it's a significance of the strength you need.

Bear in mind, "The Best Revenge Is To Smile. " (:


And My Choice is....



Love,
When You're Almost 23. 

Antoinette @ Penhas

Were chit-chatting with the horsieslove at work and we had an impromptu dinner on last Monday.

Went over to Antoinette @ Penhas for dinner.

Antoinette

Website: http://www.antoinette.com.sg/

Address: 30 Penhas Road, Singapore 208188

Tel: (65) 62933121

Interior Bouquet Decor

Interior Design of Antoinette Penhas

Very Palace kind of Toilet Basin

Menu

Both Ade & Yun's Order - Carbonara (Not the usual noodles form) 

Ah Sa's Order - Nordic Crepe

Xm's Order - Concorde Crepe

My order - Wild Mushroom Risotto 

A Loss of Direction.

But what is it that really makes me happy?
Unsure if i'm contented with my current life, my current path, the people that makes up my life and the decisions I have made so far.
Am i walking towards the right target/direction?
Will I see what I really want afar if I walk just abit more longer and further?
And Will things go my way thereafter? 

I'm just... so lost.